When controlling relationships go from bad to worse

There are too many articles and reports of boyfriends “getting revenge” for the fact of life where a relationship ends. Breaking up isn’t an excuse to ruin reputations or become violent. Nearly everyone will experience a break up in his or her life. Dare I say, should one expect it? Not to sound cynical or even pessimistic, but I simply don’t understand the logic of relationships ending in these ways.

However, I do realize college is the time when students are in a new environment and may want to cling to the familiar, even if the relationship is toxic or dangerous.

Cosmopolitan will be publishing a feature about such a controlled relationship. This “breakup rage” is yet another example of the unfamiliarity with the new relationship status creates an urge for control in the abusive relationship.

In other cases, the violator may hold this regression for years before acting upon it. A Pennsylvania college student allegedly published a sex video of his ex-girlfriend to deal with the breakup. He supposedly wanted control over her even after she was out of her life. I believe she tried to rid herself of this relationship and the published video was her punishment for breaking away and undermining his authority.

In other relationships, the possible reason for violence may be mental upset. A family was murdered because the ex-boyfriend believed the girlfriend broke up with him because the family wouldn’t allow the relationship of the students. I believe his logic was, “No family, no problem.”

As communication improves through social media and students become more alert as they enter college, I hope students are able to recognize when a relationship becomes controlling.


3 thoughts on “When controlling relationships go from bad to worse

  1. LH says:

    Relationships are what you bring to it. If you bring a lot, you will reap the benefits. If you don’t contribute and communicate, you only get what you get. If you bring excess baggage from past your partner must endure the pain and agony of rehashing the past that can’t be fixed. Before you can give you need to be whole. Get your house-cleaned so to speak. You’ll feel better and be free of burdens.
    If you bring a “Let’s do” outlook, just think of the possibilities. It can be a fun adventure. Live life, not just “prove something”. Remember we are put on earth for others. Your relationships will be there for you if they are whole and not fragmented or self centered.
    Be on the lookout for doing good deeds. It is the smile from the gift you gave that make us happy.

  2. Larry says:

    I trust your “going home experience” is a pleasant one.

  3. Bruce Clary says:

    I want to make several editing suggestions here so will print this out and give you my comments/scores in class.

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